i still can't stop - but i'm laughing now

1. when Bill Clinton's staff left office to make way for George W Bush, they hated the idea of passing over the baton to the Republicans (especially a dunce like him), they took the letter W out of some keyboards.

 2. Sarah Palin thought that Africa was a country, not a continent. and South Africa is a region of Africa, not a country. she should star in Who's Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?

 3. W's dog bit a Reuters reporter during his congratulatory speech to Obama.

 4. "Sarah Palin's been spending the last couple of days being briefed by advisers on what she needs to know to be John McCain's vice president. That's true. Yeah. Apparently, the first thing they taught her was CPR." --Conan O'Brien

 5 gave a speech in Germany and 200,000 people showed up. There were so many Germans shouting and screaming that France surrendered just in case." --Craig Ferguson

 6. "And all this week, the McCain campaign is trying to prevent Sarah Palin from talking to reporters covering the news, you know? They said, 'you can take her picture, but you can't ask her any questions.' What is she running for, vice president or 'America's Next Top Model'?" --Jay Leno

 7. "Everybody is trying to find out more about Sarah Palin. Someone was able to hack into Sarah Palin's Yahoo! email account because she hadn't taken the proper security measures. Yeah. So, folks, it's official. No one in the Palin family uses protection." --Conan O'Brien

 8. "Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin today said she thinks the economy needs some shaking up and some fixin'. I'm pretty sure is also her recipe for oven-baked chicken." --Jimmy Kimmel

 9. "Today John McCain campaigned in the Ohio town of Defiance. Next comes Anger, then finally Acceptance." —Jay Leno

 10. "And the big guns are out. The Democrats have sent Hillary to Florida to go after Sarah Palin. So, that makes two Clintons trying to nail her now." --Jay Leno

 11. "Sarah Palin made three campaign stops today: Saks, Nieman Marcus and Bloomingdales." —Jay Leno

 12. "Here's the amazing part: back in 1984, Sarah Palin actually came second in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant. Now she could be vice president. You know what that means? For the first time in history, a beauty pageant contestant might actually bring about world peace. They've talked about it for years; here's one that could do it!" --Jay Leno

 13. "Speaking of Sarah Palin, she said she's a life-long member of the National Rifle Association. Which may explain why she's in favor of shotgun weddings." --Conan O'Brien

 14. "Five kids? Does anyone in that party understand the concept of pulling out?" �Bill Maher

 15. "Ladies and gentlemen is our new president. And I think I speak for most Americans when I say, anybody mind if he starts a little early?" --David Letterman

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